A Mother’s Heart

Photo Credits: Give Lively

A Mother’s heart is more than the blood vessels , valves and muscle that make up its’ physical form.

It is a holding place for so much .

A Mother’s heart ensues , at that first acceptance of the life within her and grows exponentially at each love at first sight look, after childbirths, adoptions or any chosen connections.

It is a glorious place for love , acceptance while holding us to our best human standards.

A Mother’s heart is calculating, always finding ways to provide for those that she loves, even when that means less is left for her to have.

It is a collection of memories of yesterday’s tiny foot imprints , today’s growing pains and the longing of a beautiful bright future for her loved ones.

A Mother’s heart is JOYOUS at the growth, security and happiness of those she loves.

It is a place of immense connection but also of loneliness, for she alone can feel like she does.

A Mother’s heart is heavy with the sorrows that life can throw curve balls ,which threaten those she loves and wants to fiercely protect from danger.

It is a place of resolution and resilience.

A Mother’s heart can handle today’s disappointments as she quickly wipes away her tears and shows up dressed in her strong , beautiful, supportive smile for tomorrow.

It is a place for immense comfort and knowledge.

A Mother’s heart can also be laden with guilt for any perceived imperfections in herself or those whom she loves . However she is gifted with grace to persevere, discerning when to give her advice or to hold her tongue and pray her children through challenges instead.

A Mother’s heart is the most beautiful thing that the creator made, as it propels the source of ALL life.

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

Mountains or Oceans.. which holds your Awe?

Observing the tides crash onto the shores, while the ocean breeze powerfully claim its presence blowing and tossing hair and the likes apart.

The sun glistens on top of the blue gray sea, as its’ warmth provides a much needed balance from the chill of the ocean breeze.

There is wonder at the depth of the ocean, and the marvel of all the creatures that inhabit those deep dark waters. To think we have only discovered a very small fraction of the sea world!

I marvel at the creator of all this wonder!

Starring at the distance across the ocean while sitting on the sea shores watching kids at play , making sand castles and proud of the young at heart brave DH*, who agrees with their plan to be covered in beach sand! Lol

Observing children at play enriches the soul indeed.

I marvel at the idle time spent , with people just being!

The sea pelicans’ quick dive into the seas to grab a poor unsuspecting fish for snack, while sea gulls try their luck in finding food around the beach goers .

I marvel at nature’s carefreeness !

In some ways , it’s easier to observe the marvel atop the snow covered mountains.

The majestic presence of the mountains with peaks daring to reach the heavens.

The quiet stillness of the tall birch trees with those eyes that play peekaboo with skiers and snowboarders on their path.

I marvel at the daunting mountain slopes!

It’s incredible that skiing and snowboarding can provide such warmth even as one is surrounded by white powdered cold snow.

I marvel at the irony that one could be warmer on a snow capped mountain, than on a breezy sea at springtime!

Ultimately, I marvel at the giver of all these wonder, the creator of our universe .

The creator holds my Awe in all the infinite dimensions between the mountains and the oceans!

As always, thank you for reading my blog and the privilege of your time . Ofcourse I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

*DH ( Darling husband)

Sisterhood Is Everything!💕

Est 1990

Those were the words I exchanged in a text with a long time friend who informed me that my younger sister had just called to check on her. She said that they had literally stayed on the phone with eachother for almost 4 hrs, the whole time while my sister drove from Dallas to Houston. Ofcourse hands free, …uh..thank you fancy car Bluetooth phones!😚

Some of you know that I attended an international boarding school in Eastern Nigeria, West Africa from age 11 yrs to 16yrs. Our pioneer class comprised of about 120 other, same aged coed peers literally released into the jungles of Uturu to fend for and find our selves in life through education and social growth. Life brought us all together when we were “ green”. For most of us , this was our first time sleeping away from the security of our family homes.

I still recall my first night at the international boarding school, the memories so vivid in my mind’s eye. The school had officially started March 1st , but I didn’t get back from our family vacation in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia , till about two weeks after the school had commenced. So technically I was a “ pioneer “ in quotations..shh!

My father and our driver De Peter dropped me off close to the dusk on that day , settled me as quickly as they could , and bid me farewell to make their almost 2 hrs car ride back home to the town of Aba, through many bad roads.

I was surrounding by lots of same aged girls in my Dormitory C, but I was already starting to feel lonely. Perhaps something about night time already approaching and me having to set up my bed tent before it was “lights out “ felt daunting to me.

As I made my bed in this open concept dorm hall, friendly eyes met mine. Some initiated small talks, some asked if I needed help, one girl even had such a high emotional IQ to inquire whether I was homesick..wow! ( hopefully she became a physician too)

Quickly we all took to each other , you see with our shared experiences it was easy to bond in this jungle away from the comforts of our homes.

My first night in boarding school, there was raucous sizzling in another nearby girls dorm . A girl was being bullied for expressing she had a crush on a handsome mixed race boy, which clearly was a NO, NO because you see, that boy was already “ claimed” by another girl. A girl much bigger than most of us. I suppose that automatically gave her first dips on Guy Crushes 🤷🏽‍♀️.

They eventually settled the qualms and folks settled on their crushes (mostly nicely) without stepping on too many toes , and life continued…

I spent five intriguing years in the jungles of Uturu , with boys and girls who have become the best of my friends through the years. We grew from our simple young selves to become sophisticated adults , enduring numerous adversities including managing ourselves without electricity and running water . One of our most endearing hardships was having to hike miles to bath and fetch buckets of water from Lake Chinyere.

Our bonding occurred across genders, there were even marriages that came from these friendships. Some of these girls have became like my own sister for life!

Personally, I was blessed with only one birth sister, and she IS truly my best friend, a sister worth a million sisters! ❤️

Therefore, I have a very high taste in sisterhood lol, which means that the women in my life whom I consider as sisters are truly SPECIAL beings. I have also appreciated the value of having sisters across races and spanning many ages, as I get to be nurtured by others’ wisdom , and in turn give back to my younger “ sisters” too.

As adults we now gather as Mothers, Doctors, Lawyers, Financial experts,Social workers, Nurses, Actresses etc. We mostly gather as sisters , supporting , loving and celebrating each other through life’s struggles and triumphs.

“Sisterhood “

My community of sisterhood is a pivotal support in my life. Since my boarding school years, I have added numerous valuable gems as sister -friends in my life. My heart is so grateFUL❤️

Life is best lived in community! Find YOUR community and allow yourself to truly belong to it , giving yourself permission to be vulnerable and authentic.

Thankful for all those sisters in my life. You know who you are!😘

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

Drama In The Air

We made a pact- My girls and I stacked our hands together piling it high atop of the youngest daughters’s lap , as they made a promise to not marry “ a red faced, bald headed, boss baby looking , ugly, rude,ugly again, mean person”.( Their words by the way lol)

You see our flight today was sprinkled with drama. Too much spice if you ask me .

First a flight delay, thanks to bad weather circling around New Orleans. Then there was the rude , violent passenger who we all had witnessed verbally abusing his wife. SO many F bombs dropped on that poor lady for reportedly loosing some of his personal article ( not sure what , exactly)and then he threatened that he wanted to just go home and scrap the trip. Ofcourse, it was hard to determine whether the cantankerous couple were headed towards their home or away from their home.

Since this was all unfolding in a crowded airport boarding gate, all the passengers ,us included, just pretended to ignore the arguing couple. Then the frustrated wife walks away, leaving her husband , who initially sat there texting ,making a phone call. He then got up and began making conversations with another male passenger. He was still loud enough to be heard as he talked about his frustration at the delays and all he wanted was to get to drink some whiskey , listen to jazz and go fishing in New Orleans.

“You guys can have a drink on me “- the pilot.

The above was part of the pilot’s apology to us, the passengers for what had transpired shortly afterwards.

You see, that wife had somehow disappeared, it wasn’t clear whether she herself gave up on the trip and abandoned her verbally abusive husband who just sat there next to us , still with a filthy mouth unfortunately.

Boarding began , and we got scanned and started to make our way down the jet bridge when we heard the female flight agent leave her gate post, assertively telling a man “ Sir you cannot board this flight now, get off the jet bridge!”.

Upon turning around to see what the commotion was all about, there he was again, that same F bomb dropping man! He apparently did not have his boarding pass scanned by the agent and yet was adamant to get on the flight . He literally pushed his way through this fragile but strong willed flight agent, yelling in her face that he paid “ over a thousand F ing dollars to get on that flight !” Oh and that his wife was already on the flight…somehow,( I guess she was A list.🤷

The whole thing was pure chaos! DH *and I trying to keep our kids safe from danger , torn by our helplessness for this flight agent who was tying to literally hold off this large aggressive man who was posturing his fist violently towards her face and Infact may very well had struck her as this sandy blond haired flight agent was now red in the face but holding strong. She called for her manager and backup in a heavy voice .

A well dressed African American woman in an all red suit came rushing towards the scene, strongly reiterating the same message for the man to get off the jet bridge. The man unrelenting , dishes out more verbal threats as he dropped his bag as if to get ready for a fight. The lady in the red suit appeared fearless and did not flinch at his threats, even though he was twice her size!

Eventually, the captains / pilots came to the scene to try and reason with this man . At this point , we then proceeded to get on the aircraft , all shook up from the events earlier.

Violence is such a terrible thing . It really can be an expression of the worst of our human condition. It can be very uncomfortable to experience, whether we are the witness, victim , or even the perpetrator.

It can leave us feeling helpless or guilty that we didn’t do more to stop it . I felt for the flight agent whose life was literally in danger , as she was heroically trying to do her job. By this time, she was red in the face and her body shaking like a leaf in the blowing wind.

All I could do was offer her a comforting squeeze of my hand on her wrist . Trying to encourage her with my eyes , for my empathetic smile was hidden behind my mask, and my words muted with shock .

By the way, that wife DID in fact board the plane before we got there. She initially sat unassumingly with her reading glasses on , until the flight agents came around to question her etc etc. She was given the option to forfeit the flight since her husband was no longer allowed on board thanks to his aggressive behaviors. In between sniffles, she choose to stay on board the flight and leave her husband behind. I honestly don’t blame her .

The world can be so beautiful yet ugly at the same time. A wonderfully planned trip to New Orleans for whisky , jazz and fishing can easily be disrupted by one’s inability to control their negative emotions, and may have now landed this very sad man on a NO FLY list.

As for us, as much as I hated our children being exposed to such chaos, it provided an opportunity for lessons learned and hopefully growth. Our sons and I had a conversation about how we treat our partners , and our girls and I made the PACT about the importance of choosing the right life partner.

We can’t control our future, however we may influence it positively with wisdom accumulated over time and experiences.

The airline staff handled a terrible situation as honorably as they could in my opinion minus the fact that security should have been more readily available for those first two female agents thrust into danger without much shield / protection.

The pilot profusely apologized for the earlier events “ that’s not how we like to do business here” , he said as he welcomed people to file any complaint they may have .

Ultimately he offered us all a drink on the house!🤪, just like the line in that one song.

P/S: oh and to top things up, an hour or so before we land in New Orleans, the cabin lights get turned on and there is the infamous “ is there a doctor on board” question… geez! At this point we were all so ready to get this flight over with , and yes luckily the unwell passenger was fine after all … phew 😅

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

*DH ( darling husband)

( Edits, story corrections, and more detailings by the beloved Amara😁)

Multitasking🤪

Remember that show – SpeedDating where folks try to make a good impression on a potential partner in just a few mins? Well that’s what zoom parent teacher conference SORTA feels like .

Except you ,as the parents aren’t there for your own benefits.. well not technically.

You’re there to hear REAL quick whether your kid is a good egg or a bad egg lol (shout out to all my Willy Wonka fans who got the reference 😃)

I must say, the whole thing is one messy confusing production! Don’t get me wrong I love the convenience of my DH *just finishing his run and plopping on the couch to zoom into conference, while I attempt to zoom in from the nail shop.. because you know , why not do THAT multi tasking right?

Now I am not new to this rodeo of zoom parent teacher conference, thanks to covid😏.

Nonetheless, Parent teacher conferences pre Covid used to be so much more deliberate.. you drove to the school, you waited outside the classroom till it was your turn, then you got to sit n YOUR child’s little desk and had an in person conversation about your child’s performance with an undivided attention from their teacher till your time was up. Then you left the classroom only to find carefully laid out pencils and pens outside the door , for you to write a note for your special student…sigh sounds so lovely🥰

The truth is I had infact managed to do a version of a virtual parent teacher conference even pre pandemic when I was traveling in Africa . This meant DH * keeping me on his speaker phone while he moved from class to class meeting with teachers, spending the first few mins explaining why he had his phone on speaker so his wifey who was out of the country could follow along the conference.

I wasn’t doing the moving around BUT I was starting to feel dizzy , trying to keep track of which teacher’s class we just landed in🥺

Honestly I still don’t know how to rate the success or lack thereof, of the zoom parent teacher conference.. I mean, was IT accomplished?.,,heck yea!

Was it too ambitious for us to schedule conference for our 3 middle schoolers all in one evening( the only option available this time by the way), each for 5 mins?….. Perhaps 🤔

p/s: thank Goodness our 5th grader was on a separate day phew)

Anyways….

Did we only have 5 mins to hear both the teachers AND our kid’s personal narrative aka PowerPoint presentation on the highlights of their experience in those classes.. Sure we did!🤗

Were we at times arriving too early to sit in some teacher’s zoom waiting room unsure if we got the time mixed up ?.. heck yah!

All the while with DH texting me to let me know he had to go on to the next while I finished up with whatever “long winded” teacher, since we didn’t want to miss the next conference time slot.

Were there times ,at the beginning of the zoom where I had NO clue which teacher we were meeting and/or which of my kids we were starting to discuss… Sure nuff🤪

At one point , I logged in only to be waved goodbye by the teacher nicely because “ our time was up” and the teacher had to let in another eager perhaps just as confused parent , in from the waiting room.. leaving me going .. Wait what? Huh?.. oh okay then, nice seeing you again 🤪

Oh and if you delayed pressing the “ leave meeting “ button , then you may find yourself in the waiting room with another stranger aka parent… Awkward 🎵😬

I mean, it was probably too zealous and optimistic, to think I could pull off a zoom parent teacher conference while the nail technician was holding my hands hostage, as I tried to mute my phone microphone, in between conversations so I didn’t have to explain why the teacher was , all of a sudden hearing Vietnamese being spoken loudly around me. Honestly, I don’t think my new nail tech appreciated all the fuss around me, and I wasn’t really feeling his lack of relaxation vibe at all as he yanked my hands to reposition them for his purposes 😏 . I even debated whether to tip him or not afterwards..don’t worry I did too him,after all my hectic evening was NOT his fault.

Ultimately, I made the choice to take my daughters to get their nails done AND have zoom parent teacher conference all in the same hour. Both were accomplished fairly well, but I must say it was NOT the most relaxing experience at all.

The content of the conferences were fine and I am very proud of my offsprings . However, the processes around the zooming and “the nice to meet you but you gots to leave the meeting now” was all wayy too much for me . I don’t think my cortisol ( stress) hormones appreciated all that FUSS at all 😏.

Unfortunately, I didn’t immediately recognize and name my emotions of stress and frustration that evening, once I got home and still had to start packing for springbreak trip.

I have mused about the fast pace of life in America and the necessity that we slow down to catch our breaths. This experience was a good reminder for me. I am now able to look back at some of the comedic aspects of that evening, and laugh (yes) AT myself for taking on so much .

I also believe in lessons learned and so I know there are NO more multi tasking nail “ spa” experience with a stressful zoom parent teacher conference again for this momma!

Of course if you can’t relate since you only have your one kid that you get to devote all your attention to , without guilt, then more power to you 🙌🏽

However. I am curious whether you too have had an interesting multi tasking zoom experience in your life and how you handled it?

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

*DH ( darling husband)