Mother Of Multiplies ( M.O.M)

I have belonged to a Facebook group of Physician Mother of Multiples for many years . On this platform women physicians swap helpful advice with each other, related to raising multiples – twins, triplets, quadruplets etc etc

We share advice on a variety of topics ranging breastfeeding advice to dilemmas about having twins graduating from different colleges on same weekend… how do parents manage the need to clone themselves in two different states?🤔🤔

On this platform and others alike , I have made new friends and reconnected with old friends as we navigate being working mothers of multiples( M. O.M)

In general, I have always felt blessed to share space with mothers of ALL types, whose wisdom are pearls and our common experiences , reassuring and comforting.

Mothering is a BIG task that can leave us at times questioning our abilities. Therefore any time one gets reassurance that they are not alone in whatever struggle/ challenge/puzzles OR even Joy equals a good thing!

Thirteen years ago today, my DH * and I joined this beautiful club of Parents of Twin Boys, ( with our 17 month old daughter who already blessed us with our original Parent title status !)

Life WAS busy AND beautiful!

I vividly recall my LONG twin pregnancy complete with a medically indicated bed rest beginning at 19.4 wks EGA which “ interrupted “ my residency training program at the time . My family supported me in more ways than I can even enumerate! Thank you 🙏🏾

My SIL helped nanny our 17 month daughter, while helping me stay off my feet. My mother came into town and supervised that I was eating enough calories to gain appropriate weight for the twins , Incase I go into preterm labor and they “ come early”.

My DH was my ROCK- relying on him literally for both physical and emotional support when I was weakened physically or fighting my own doubts.

I was scared but hopeful.

My wonderful Obgyn referred me to an amazing high risk Obgyn who was God sent in EVERY way and managed my pregnancy till we delivered two healthy wonderful boys into the world close to midnight on June 24th 2009!

Interestingly they were almost born on different dates since they were born 8 mins apart through a natural birth at 11:37 pm and 11:45 pm.. and we even avoided any NICU stay… phew and alleluia!

Grateful for twin actually born on SAME day!🥰

They turn 13 yrs old tonight and I couldn’t be more grateful to God for their light in our lives! They are healthy, brilliant, kind and handsome young men and I get the blessing of being their mama♥️♥️

I am giddy with excitement to celebrate them this entire weekend and in the meantime as I await the sun rising on this glorious day .. I lift them up in prayers and ask you to join me in sending up a prayer of thanksgiving and blessings on their lives.

Happy 13 th birthday to our Double Blessings ♥️♥️, pray lines always fall in pleasant places for you both.

With All My Love,

M.O.M

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by finding and clicking the follow icon, makes it easier to share these musings with you and ensures that you can get notifications on future blog posts and not miss out !💕

*DH ( Darling Husband)

Champions For Christ

How do you respond to compliments about your children?.. Aww thanks, OR that’s sweet of you to say, OR yes we’re lucky they’re great kids, OR we thank God for his blessings? etc etc

All of these are appropriate response in my opinion, however I especially like to return the praise to GOD.

You see, last week a dear friend was going to be one of the leaders of the music ministry at a local Parish’s VBS (Vacation Bible School) . The theme of the VBS week was Champions For Christ.

This friend had inquired about having our oldest daughter assist her in teaching the VBS younglings. After I wrote her to inform her that she was already committed elsewhere that week, a lightbulb moment occurred to me!

It went something like this in my head…. “Well she couldn’t do it Buhhh , what if our younger three ALL could?.. I mean why not send our twin 12 yr old boys with very little dancing experience, to lead music and dance ministry at VBS?…..

It continued…

“I mean ,sure , they played little Joseph In the musical Joseph and the technicolor dream coats years ago,that ought to count for something right? Besides, they will have their younger sister who is mostly a “grandma” with her 12 yr old wisdom and her fantastic dancethletics ( I know , I know it’s not a real word lol)😉 shepherding them.”

My friend jumped on the idea once I shared it with her, maybe because she was part desperate for helpers to help her teach those random praise songs and dances she was charged with teaching preschoolers to 2nd graders, OR just a lovely friend and a great supporter of our family. I personally vote for the latter.

In any case, she bought and loved the idea and I was thrilled to unglue my kids’ eyes off their video games and TVs and get my three tweens out of the house for a few hours each day that week!

WIN- WIN!!!

A few hours after I dropped them off bright and early , the first morning, ofcourse not before I double checked that no one forgot their deodorant or water bottles. I began settling into my clinic when I got the most lovely surprise.

It was a text , filled with compliments for my kids! I have to be honest with you , my dear readers..I was glowing internally, because in my humble opinion… As parent , OUR Children can truly be OUR biggest compliment in life .

Throughout the week, the compliments kept pouring in, at times extended from people I hadn’t even met! , who told my friend, how much our children were blessing them, and how well behaved they were … HEAD SWOON☺️

Then came this layer of awakening, …I began to wonder whether I was surprised by the compliments?.. not entirely. Then I wondered if I too , give my children the evidence of my TOTAL belief in THEIR abilities consistently?.. hmm🤔. The truth is that as a mother , I find myself charged with DUTY.. duty to raise good citizens of the world. This is a duty I take very seriously, heck I even make my living (as a Child and Adolescents Psychiatris) helping others raise good citizens for our world.

However sometimes, DUTY can drown us from perspective. We forget to be PRESENT to all the good that is already around us, all the yield that our DUTY is already producing. We keep focusing on doing more and more, including inspecting for water bottles and double checking that deodorants have been applied lol.

It could be like missing the forest for the trees!

Well, this week’s Catheletics VBS at Incarnate Word Parish , reminded me to be MINDFUL of my yield as a mother . I am very grateful to be raising young citizens of the world whose inner light shines bright, even when I am not right there MOTHERING them. I am also grateful that they seem to be humble to their abilities too.

Therefore , I have received those compliments graciously AND return the praise to the one who made ALL of this possible…GOD!

Ultimately, VBS ended with a bang! Catchy songs and dances were learned by so many younglins ( and hopefully by some young at heart folks too), my lovely friend and her colleagues, did a fantastic job leading an amazing music ministry at VBS , our children got to spend more time together and grew closer this week – an unexpected gift all around!

I must say, I had hoped the week would go well, however I mostly trusted without any real evidence that our kids will emerge as real Champions for Christ. This was total bonus!

Of course they’re not perfect (yet)lol, but they danced , served as techno guy for audiovisual and bogeyed for Christ, all while mentoring young ones in the process.

I marvel at how the orderer of the universe knows EXACTLY what we need and when. We certainly ALL needed the JOYS and WINS that came from this week’s VBS.

My DH * and I very proud of our kid’s hard work and service to others this week.

Dear reader, when was the last time you took a chance and leaped with trust? How do you respond to compliments of yourself or your children , if you have them? Where is your perspective taking lens these days? I sure hope it’s PRESENT to all the blessings around you , versus muddled with DUTY.

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by finding and clicking the follow icon, makes it easier to share these musings with you and ensures that you can get notifications on future blog posts and not miss out !💕

*DH (Darling husband)

Re Gathering

The world seems to have “ RE OPENED ”!

Regardless of whether you’re in the camp of believing the pandemic is over or not. It doesn’t seem to matter these days as Life goes on .

I have spoken to many people who are marveled at how full their social calendars are becoming PACKED again. Some are thrilled with excitement, while others had still a healthy dose of apprehension at all the upcoming reunions. In some ways, we have all lost some of our social muscles” from lack of use… we may even feel awkward at reconnecting, do we hug , shake or just nod in acknowledgment of the other? Hmm 🤔

Well, just like just like they say in show business – the show must go on! Ready or Not.

And so it did for us this past weekend!

You see , our oldest daughter was receiving her Confirmation into our Catholic Faith, a major milestone in the life of a Catholic . She was choosing to say YES to her faith-in her own way, as a young Catholic adult.

I must admit getting ready to host our first major gathering since the pandemic brought up interesting emotions. I had to prepare and talk about menus with caterers, get home ready, maybe finally make out time to plant my Lillie’s in the yard?.. after all it’s Spring for heavens sake lol.

Oh, and I didn’t forget to pick up the cake. Yes the one I didn’t order ahead of time but hit the jackpot in the refrigerator display of La bon bouche, with the perfectly decorated “Catholic” cake complete with even a rosary on top!!

To say the least, I was excited to have our home even more FULL with family and friends warming the rooms with their laughter and chatter.

Time does what it does best, it flies and by the time I knew it , It was Friday evening and I was on my way to picking up my parents from the airport. Unlike some people, we had been blessed to see our parents during the pandemic. We are very grateful and don’t take this for granted.

Ada’s confirmation was beautifully orchestrated by the hand of God! Details that only God could manage himself fell right into place … her sponsor ( my cousin by marriage n love) drove almost 7 hrs to arrive just in time – thanks to a surprise time zone change, she was actually EARLY!

She got prettied up after her drive and graciously offered to take our celebrant to church while we gathered the rest of the crew.

Church was PACKED! Parking was crazy but the cathedral basilica never fails to draw my AWE with its majestic bizantine architecture. You automatically feel closer to God in all the history so delicately narrated on its ceilings.

She was the most beautiful celebrant, and yes I am a biased momma.

As a mother, I have many prayers for my first earth Angel and today what I say to God is a big THANK YOU for the blessing of this child – turning young lady, and for the blessing and JOY of RE-gathering for my lovely family and friends!

How do you feel about life re opening these days? Have you gathered and for what reasons?

Here are a few pearls that may help make your next gathering more enjoyable and perhaps less daunting .

1) Consider yourself blessed to have the opportunity at life and having occasion to gather – gratitude is key!

2) Build up your excitement about whatever your occasion is.

3) Do your research- do you still need to wear masks or not, what’s the dress code?who are scheduled to be there ?

4) Show up, don’t take yourself too seriously and HAVE fun!!!

Please feel free to share your thoughts and accompanying emotions about our reopening world , if you dare..lol

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

A Mother’s Heart

Photo Credits: Give Lively

A Mother’s heart is more than the blood vessels , valves and muscle that make up its’ physical form.

It is a holding place for so much .

A Mother’s heart ensues , at that first acceptance of the life within her and grows exponentially at each love at first sight look, after childbirths, adoptions or any chosen connections.

It is a glorious place for love , acceptance while holding us to our best human standards.

A Mother’s heart is calculating, always finding ways to provide for those that she loves, even when that means less is left for her to have.

It is a collection of memories of yesterday’s tiny foot imprints , today’s growing pains and the longing of a beautiful bright future for her loved ones.

A Mother’s heart is JOYOUS at the growth, security and happiness of those she loves.

It is a place of immense connection but also of loneliness, for she alone can feel like she does.

A Mother’s heart is heavy with the sorrows that life can throw curve balls ,which threaten those she loves and wants to fiercely protect from danger.

It is a place of resolution and resilience.

A Mother’s heart can handle today’s disappointments as she quickly wipes away her tears and shows up dressed in her strong , beautiful, supportive smile for tomorrow.

It is a place for immense comfort and knowledge.

A Mother’s heart can also be laden with guilt for any perceived imperfections in herself or those whom she loves . However she is gifted with grace to persevere, discerning when to give her advice or to hold her tongue and pray her children through challenges instead.

A Mother’s heart is the most beautiful thing that the creator made, as it propels the source of ALL life.

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕

Sisterhood Is Everything!💕

Est 1990

Those were the words I exchanged in a text with a long time friend who informed me that my younger sister had just called to check on her. She said that they had literally stayed on the phone with eachother for almost 4 hrs, the whole time while my sister drove from Dallas to Houston. Ofcourse hands free, …uh..thank you fancy car Bluetooth phones!😚

Some of you know that I attended an international boarding school in Eastern Nigeria, West Africa from age 11 yrs to 16yrs. Our pioneer class comprised of about 120 other, same aged coed peers literally released into the jungles of Uturu to fend for and find our selves in life through education and social growth. Life brought us all together when we were “ green”. For most of us , this was our first time sleeping away from the security of our family homes.

I still recall my first night at the international boarding school, the memories so vivid in my mind’s eye. The school had officially started March 1st , but I didn’t get back from our family vacation in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia , till about two weeks after the school had commenced. So technically I was a “ pioneer “ in quotations..shh!

My father and our driver De Peter dropped me off close to the dusk on that day , settled me as quickly as they could , and bid me farewell to make their almost 2 hrs car ride back home to the town of Aba, through many bad roads.

I was surrounding by lots of same aged girls in my Dormitory C, but I was already starting to feel lonely. Perhaps something about night time already approaching and me having to set up my bed tent before it was “lights out “ felt daunting to me.

As I made my bed in this open concept dorm hall, friendly eyes met mine. Some initiated small talks, some asked if I needed help, one girl even had such a high emotional IQ to inquire whether I was homesick..wow! ( hopefully she became a physician too)

Quickly we all took to each other , you see with our shared experiences it was easy to bond in this jungle away from the comforts of our homes.

My first night in boarding school, there was raucous sizzling in another nearby girls dorm . A girl was being bullied for expressing she had a crush on a handsome mixed race boy, which clearly was a NO, NO because you see, that boy was already “ claimed” by another girl. A girl much bigger than most of us. I suppose that automatically gave her first dips on Guy Crushes 🤷🏽‍♀️.

They eventually settled the qualms and folks settled on their crushes (mostly nicely) without stepping on too many toes , and life continued…

I spent five intriguing years in the jungles of Uturu , with boys and girls who have become the best of my friends through the years. We grew from our simple young selves to become sophisticated adults , enduring numerous adversities including managing ourselves without electricity and running water . One of our most endearing hardships was having to hike miles to bath and fetch buckets of water from Lake Chinyere.

Our bonding occurred across genders, there were even marriages that came from these friendships. Some of these girls have became like my own sister for life!

Personally, I was blessed with only one birth sister, and she IS truly my best friend, a sister worth a million sisters! ❤️

Therefore, I have a very high taste in sisterhood lol, which means that the women in my life whom I consider as sisters are truly SPECIAL beings. I have also appreciated the value of having sisters across races and spanning many ages, as I get to be nurtured by others’ wisdom , and in turn give back to my younger “ sisters” too.

As adults we now gather as Mothers, Doctors, Lawyers, Financial experts,Social workers, Nurses, Actresses etc. We mostly gather as sisters , supporting , loving and celebrating each other through life’s struggles and triumphs.

“Sisterhood “

My community of sisterhood is a pivotal support in my life. Since my boarding school years, I have added numerous valuable gems as sister -friends in my life. My heart is so grateFUL❤️

Life is best lived in community! Find YOUR community and allow yourself to truly belong to it , giving yourself permission to be vulnerable and authentic.

Thankful for all those sisters in my life. You know who you are!😘

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences . Please feel free to also “follow” by clicking the follow icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts💕