traditions – MindMuse

Exploring Europe 🌍( part one)

June 29, 2023June 29, 2023 MindMuser MD

At the risk of sounding redundant, I really lucked out in the DH * department for innumerable reasons!

One of which is that my DH* is an excellent travel/ adventure planner!

He typically starts our family travel plans very well in advance , and this saves on cost and ensures that we get great lodging and travel itinerary.

He honestly does such an amazing job at travel plans that I trust him completely and will gladly pack my bags and follow him to the ends of the earth , without asking too many questions. Okay well I may ask a question or two … typically involving how many suitcases I am allowed to bring 😒

Most summers, my sister and I go on a vacation with our families . Last summer we were blessed to have both our parents andy in laws, join us for a glorious trip to Anna Maria Island. Florida. We had so many extended families on that trip and I will forever cherish it , as it became the last vacation we shared with our Dad before he was called home to Jesus later that year🙏🏾

Memories such as that solidifies for me the importance of gathering with loved ones at any given opportunity.

So this summer, DH planned for both families an exquisite European vacation .

We flew Swedish airline into London, England through Stockholm . It was an affordable smooth flight that even give us a chance to meet Gayle King ( yup! Oprah Winfrey’s BFF🥰) and her son during our lay over in Stockholm .They were delightful and we chatted like old friends..,,Okay okay that was once I finally recognized that the famous person I was staring at was Gayle King, and NOT the Olympian Jackie Joiner Kercee. Gayle was right when she joked about this as a situation of “ all black people don’t look alike”. Sorry. I must have been a little star struck and just confusing my stars … I guess lol

Anyways, we landed in London and made it to what was supposed to be our AirBnb on Piccadilly circus around 4pm , only to discover a big glitch in our reservation! 😱Something about the owners changing platforms and it appeared our reservation ( which DH made last winter by the way) was lost in the process!

Yup we started out homeless in London.

Only for about an hour or so while we called to clarify our reservation without sucess. So we quickly pivoted to book a nearby hotel

Strand Palace turned out to be a great accommodation for our family. It was walking distance and with our four kiddos in tow, we were lucky to get rooms available that evening.

We showered and headed out to meet up with our family and friends for a pre planned dinner.

I had arranged to have a central meeting place for as many of our extended families living in UK to have dinner and enjoy company. It was absolutely wonderful to see so many of our dear ones gathered together. At the dinner. I also got to reunite with my sister who flew into London that same day too from Dallas TX.

The travel crew was now united an ready to take on Europe one city at a time!

On our London visit traveling with almost 4 teenagers, I was grateful that we were able to see and do so much in a short time.

DH continued to lead the charge to get to Buckingham Palace in time to catch part of the changing of the guards , then we walked around Hyde park garren( that apparently used to be hunting grounds for King Henry VII). Our kids found a unique umbrella tree to climb, we had water play at Princess Diana’s memorial Fountain- the water felt refreshing on my tired walking feet 😉

Made our way to speakers corner and accordingl to Wikipedia; Speakers’ Corner is an area where free speech open-air public speaking, debate, and discussion are allowed.

Then off to Tower of London, with all its incredible history, shared London bridge with our kids and their cousins while enjoying some street foods. We also got a chance to see Big Ben and Westminster.

The day concluded with a yummy Asian customer restaurant , that was across from Trafalgar Square but not before randomly enjoying ( snoozing off our jet lag) during a violin concert at St Paul’s cathedral, and ofcourse lighting a candle in honor of Dad for Father’s day.

We spent two fun packed days in London and it was delightful. The sights are amazing as expected but I have to say the reunions and company of our family and friends were priceless!

The next morning, we’re off to our next European spot- Paris , France!

You’re welcome to follow us along on the journey!

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences .

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***DH ( Darling husband)

Enchanted Japan💕

March 27, 2023March 27, 2023 MindMuser MD

On our recent trip to Japan , DH described this country as enchanted, and I couldn’t have agreed more. Except for a brief layover in an airport in Osaka many many years ago, while our way to Bali for our honeymoon, we had never visited Japan.

Therefore when our 7 th graders had an opportunity for a spring break Apoogee ** school trip that could include parents, we were beyond excited to sign up to travel with them.

First we had to figure out the affordability for our family of six as well as the logistics of tagging along with our twins boys, but this 15 hrs trip made sense for our family for so many reasons!

We also have our amazing niece/god daughter who has been living in Tokyo whom we’ve talked about wanting to visit for soo long now .In addition, we as a family had also entertained the idea of hiking Mount Fuji.. I mean why stop at just Mount Kilimanjaro right?😉

Upon landing in Haneida airport in Tokyo , we meet up with our lovely family friends who were traveling on a similar itinerary as we were, their young son also traveling with the Ladue School Apogee class trip.

The first things I observed was how efficiently we moved through customs, picked up our luggage and off we were, trying to navigate the JR train system all on our own. Travel instructions were mostly in Japanese writing (Konchi), and while there were signs in English, they seemed to be in the minority, so you had to pay very close attention reading maps /signs or you missed out.

This idea of needing to pay attention is not uncommon when you travel to a new place, but somehow with the very fast pace of Tokyo’s busy metropolitan’s city with its countless trains, bullet trains,subways, buses running so efficiently on a tight time schedule ~we really needed to pay attention or risk getting lost on this huge city of close to 30 million people.

I literally give my DH, all the travel credit , on this trip as usual , he had done so much research and pre planning to ensure that our ten days of traveling through Japan was smooth as possible. Our daughters and I had the best time exploring foods ( thanks to recs from our niece/god daughter guide extraordinaire who was quiet fluent in Japanese already), there were cousins and friend times, lots of matcha flavored ice cream and drinks, local snacks from seven eleven on every corner, and we even found Starbucks and McDonald’s there too !

We traveled in mid/late March, with a stroke of good fortune and fate , found ourselves right on the middle of the blooming of the beautiful cherry blossom season! Apparently the cherry blossom is only about 2 weeks long annually! Okay, that was just pure lucky as we could not have planned THAT!

Adaeze and others admiring the cherry blossoms

DH , our two daughters and myself travelled together , while our twin sons travelled and explored with their class travel group . There trip was organized by a tour company EFJ, that included a well planned itinerary , lodging and accommodations as well as a local Japanese guide. We would meet up with their travel group every once in a while for dinner or to visit a temple together or just for a hug and a picture! This felt bold,to give our 13 yr old sons’s independence in another country,while being just a text or call away.

The teachers and parents that travelled and stayed with the group were all so wonderful, keeping us in the loop as much as possible , amidst wifi woes at times lol.

Early morning bike ride on the Philosopher’s path in Kyoto

We visited several cities in Japan , mostly following along our sons’ itineraries while improvising our own plans here and there. There was A LOT of walking so make sure to pack comfortable shoes . We stayed at nearby ArNBs and hotels except for one night that we shared the same hotel as our sons in the town of Kawaguchi while visiting Mount Fuji.

Experiencing the beauty of this country is incredible, from the intimidating snow capped mountains of Fuji to the beautiful island of Mayijima with its floating Torrin temple gates, numerous beautiful temples and shrines,and the in between cities of Kyoto with its classy charm, the sophistication of Tokyo with its art museums and sharply dressed women and “salaried men” to the sobering city of Hiroshima – Japan had it all to offer an inquisitive tourist!

Beyond the beautiful landscapes of this country, I believe I was most intrigued by its people and culture. I had SO many questions.. how do they manage to keep the peace around them ? Is this really a NO gun society ?wow! Everyone seemed to simultaneously mind their own business while also showing respect to eachother! How are there hardly any trash cans and yet the streets and the train stations were SO clean?!, where were their homeless population? And how is everyone seem to be so nicely dressed, appearing to have purpose with something to do/ somewhere to go?, how are they so quiet on massively crowded buses and trains? Why do you not even smell people standing so close to you, armpits raised to hold on to poles for stability on those crowed moving trains?

I also wondered a lot about how efficient the Japanese technology appeared to be, warm toilet seats, with bauder( impressive TOTO brand!) , even in public places?!😳, bathroom so compact and efficient , random anti fog mirrors in hotel bathrooms( this was such a champion!, I mean who really wants to get out of shower , only to view their reflection in a cloudy mirror? Yes sometimes those bathroom fans just don’t cut it I’m sorry lol.

I also noticed that while I still needed to pay attention in order not to miss bullet trains which ran so precisely on time, by the seconds even! As the days went on, I became even more and more relaxed .

I was not worried about my safety in Japan. Our brilliant god daughter’s apt explanation that Japan allows for creative thinking because your fight or flight nervous system is not always activated, trying to ensure your safety. This felt absolutely true to me, it was much easier to be in the present in the moments, here in Japan.

Ultimately, this turned out to be a trip of a lifetime. I keep telling my DH that he really has a natural calling to travel planning if he ever gets tired of being a shrink lol

In all seriousness , I would love to return to Japan again very soon, not only for the amazing foods, sights and shopping. I would return for the peace and tranquility of this place. Amidst the bustling cities, visiting beautiful temples tucked in along lovely hikes and trials provided me with much needed quiet.

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences .

Click on the “follow” icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts via email and not miss out !💕

** DH ( darling husband)

**Apogee ( gifted class name at Ladue Middle School)

Duckie Drama

February 5, 2023February 6, 2023 MindMuser MD

We have an adventurous family with lots of travel interest.

White water rafting on the salmon river in the wilderness of Idaho during the hot summer month of July 2021.

This was during the pandemic and a 5 days river trip vacation seemed like a reasonable idea.

You see we had had a great time floating down the Colorado river the previous summer with our extended family, so this time we invited several family friends to float down the Idaho salmon river with us.

Our traveling crew consisted of at least 6 different families , some were life long friends while others just met for the first time the morning we set out on our on River trip. Everyone was wonderful.

In fact there are so many stories to tell you about this trip however I will focus on one particular floating day .

We had river guides who were truly shepherding us and keeping us safe while we enjoyed the adventures on the river.

There was an inflatable raft called the “ Duckie” that was an option for any takers to raft down the river . I asked DH if he would ride with me and he gladly accepted ( ofcourse not before making sure that no other takers who wanted a turn to float down on this particular Duckie)

Our kids stayed on more sturdy rafts with family friends and were having a blast . Some of the moms were either on other rafts or on the bigger boat calmly enjoying the warm breeze and nature with a cold beverage…. Smart😉

I choose more adventure ,so off DH and I went on this “Duckie” . I sat in the front providing the “ power” while DH was behind steering us in the direction we needed to travel . I had a lot of laughter and squeals as I enjoyed riding the waves while DH seemed to be enjoying hitting rapids that produced even more laughter and squeals from me.

Then I started to overhear the guides talking about needing to stop to “regroup “ before the last rapid before we get to camp for the night . The head guide was giving instructions to the order guides who were rating the order boats.

I started to feel a bubble of worry rising within me as I observed them “plotting“ from our Duckie. So I asked the female guide what they were “plotting “ but her only response was “ it’ll be fun” with a coy smile and a shoulder shrug that I immediately interpreted as a way to calm my nerves.

So I sat back focusing on my rowing to provide the power for our raft while encouraging , okay maybe warning him, DH to steer us safely.

On white water rafting trips, the thing is you can hear the rumbles of the rapids before you even see them, so the suspense is real and palpable!

The guides had given us very specific instructions before that last rapid to avoid the left side at a particular point “ no matter what”.

Apparently that spot on the river has a “ hole “ that people can literally get sucked under into a vortex that seems like a washing machine cycle that is hard to escape from.

So off we go with DH maneuvering our way through the rapids . At the start I felt DH and I working well together and I clearly was trusting him with my life in those moments more than ever .Oh , did I mention that I am not a strong swimmer? Like at all!

Things seemed to be going well until BOOM! … I feel myself get knocked off the Duckie from the side and I went under the water for what felt like A LONG QUIET EERIE TIME.

I popped up again briefly again only to be hit in the head by the same Duckie. That was actually my saving grace as I grabbed on for dear life while my feet dangled in the rushing water.

Let me back up a sec to say that I actually began praying in my mind once I felt me worrying about the upcoming rapid as I was observing the guide prepping.

Psalm 23 was on my mind and I thought about God’s protection of us as we go through “ raging waters”. Those rapids definitely were raging waters😏

God had allowed me to hold on to that Duckie and then I realized too that DH had managed to stay on the Duckie the whole time. This was a double lucky blessing 1) DH was safe 2) DH was able to continue steering the Duckie so I just had to keep holding on to it since I was no strong swimmer.

Truth is I somehow managed to stay calm throughout the raft accident.

I believe it was purely the Holy Spirit that accompanied and encouraged me in those moments when I was under water or struggling to get a hold of that Duckie.

Ofcourse our Duckie accident caused some panic with our children and friends watching as all of this took place. I had lost a water shoe in all the chaos but can you believe one of the other boaters somehow found my shoe and we reunited post Duckie drama.

Shortly after the ordeal we made it to camp for the night and I was mostly quiet and reflective., probably still in shock from all that had transpired.

Nonetheless , the hugs with my children, DH and time spent at camp friends somehow held more value that evening because being alive felt like SUCH a gift!

Have you had a time when you felt you were close to loosing your life? What thoughts did your mind entertain?

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences .

Click on the “follow” icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts via email and not miss out !💕

RED SPORTS CAR

January 30, 2023January 31, 2023 MindMuser MD

1988 , “Ulo Nna” on Hospital Road, Aba, (old) Imo State was notorious for nostalgia and action .

Amidst all that trading action in Aba, sat our family (city) home.

There was never a dull moment on those streets of this bustling traders’ town in the eastern region of Nigeria.

Aba’s warm tropical breeze was stifled with the fumes from the engine exhausts of automobiles crowding the roads of this commercial city’s hustle and bustles.

Aba Ngwa! Is NOT a city for “mugus”(fools)

You have to be very “sharp” to inhabit this land and the children of Aba seem to be packed full of street smarts, straight from their mothers’ wombs.

My grandfather “Nna” was one of the first settlers from our village into Aba township, therefore he had choice property in the heart of the city’s trading posts- on Hospital road.

The house had been passed down to our father from our paternal grandfather Stephen , who moved from the rural village to this trading town Aba ,after becoming one of the first converts to Christianity , in order to pursue and expand his business.

The property on Hospital was really a “watering hole” for our family and so many others. The fronts of the yard were trading stores while the back of the building served as residence for our family and numerous relatives. There were several apartments but all shared a common “ yard” so everyone could easily be in everyone else’ business 😂

Relatives and family friends lived there until they were able to transition successfully to their own homes.

Hospital road had a buzz to it, with trading shops cramped next to eachother. There was always music blaring from record stores, cars honking in traffic and loud jocular conversations amongst traders.

Everyone seemed to always be in huge hurry in this West African town.

**71 hospital road,Aba pic courtesy of ILO**

The businesses were housed in “ sheds” which comprised of wooden stalls with brilliant artisans making incredible innovative goods for sale , automotive parts traders, import and export sheds, talented tailors creating traditional clothing while others were expert “okirika” traders **

There were always SO many varieties at the markets! A day spent at the local Ariaria market never disappointed, showcasing human interactions depicting life lessons in courage, resilience,humor , love and rivalry.

My Older brother would entertain for hours with these Ariaria market stories.

Most Aba roads were heavily crowded and there was a distinct smell of commercialism or maybe it was just those fumes from the over used , poorly constructed and maintained gutter drainage systems…eww!

Traders lined every street corners, forcefully hassling passersby to purchase this or that from them . Everywhere you looked some one was selling something!

Only very few areas in Aba attempted to prioritize residential plots. We felt lucky to have cousins in those suburbs. The irony is that we each likely fantasized about trading living spaces with one another, at times. The quiet of the suburbs with its’ loneliness and less mosquitoes, competed against the excitement of those crowded trading streets of Aba.

Living in these commercialized areas meant close interactions with loud mouthed traders. It was not unusual for traders to audaciously comment on outfit choices of passersby, at times cat calling the pretty women or detesting others inappropriately dressed asking them ,who exactly allowed them out of their gates that morning .

Some of these unsolicited comments were harsh and could cut deep into ones self esteem, while others were so complimentary that your ego swelled bigger than an ishi aki**

My sister and I are seven and nine year olds with neatly braided tight cornrows on our hair. Our younger brother, a boisterous five year old who was obsessed with the newest Mike Tyson haircut style would beg our mother to allow him to get same at the barber shop.

Our father had a never exhausting fountain of energy and fun stored within him. Dad always found a way to literally infuse FUN into even the most mundane activities. It was no surprise that he would offer us a JOYRIDE in his old red fiat convertible which we all fondly called “ THE SPORTS CAR” .

**Dad with another red sports car – New Orleans 2012**

Sports car was only driven on special occasions.

We especially enjoyed the ride when we were all piled high ,rooftop down, standing room only , as many cousins and siblings as could possibly pack into the small convertible.

Then it was showtime….let the fun and joyous screams commence!

We took the joyrides at dusk when the blazing warmth of the sun was gone , and took with it all those loud mouthed traders whose shops were now closed for the day’s hustle. The crowded streets became empty and creepily quiet.

Dad would thrill us with the car ride revving up his engine every once in a while, our hair tossing in the wind, specs of sand from the tarred road peppered our laughing faces as we held onto for our dear sweet life.

On some occasions, Dad gave permission for our driver DeePee to ride us around. Dee Pee drove EVEN faster😅

Life seemed so carefree back then as if it contained no real problems.

Now as I reminisce on these sweet carefree memories, I am forced to appreciate the imminent passage of time.

I am grateful to have had joyrides in the red sports car, for that patriarchal home on hospital road with its hustling neighborhood that help toughen my skin and has in turn made me more resilient.

However, you know what I’m MOST appreciative of ?…..my FAMILY – close and distant relatives whose lives have enriched my life and have contributed tremendously to these BELOVED memories 💕

Which sweet memories of your childhood do you have to share?

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences .

Find and click on the “follow” icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts via email and not miss out !💕

** okirika ( used clothing mostly from European countries for sale)

**ishi aki ( a large African fruit)

Giving thanks in every season💕

November 24, 2022November 26, 2022 MindMuser MD

In every season give thanks – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

This season of my life has been hard.

I have been challenged by loss and grief.

Waking up to my First thanksgiving without my father physically present on earth is TOUGH!

To say I miss you is such an understatement 💔

**Arrival hugs the day before thanksgiving day 2021**

I no longer have the casual opportunity to physically express my gratitude to him with my words, a hug,a plate of yummy thanksgiving cooking, or jocular conversations shared on a thanksgiving morning family walk on the trail to Stacy Parks.

My thoughts wonder deeply into an existential plane… What does your view from heaven look like now? Are you gathered in heaven with your parents and other family members enjoying great laughs with the communion of saints? Is food even a thing in heaven?

Now your image mostly exists in my mind and my heart. Your eyes always so full of love and I only imagine that this love is intensified from heaven now .

Therefore your love goes on.. even in death.

I am choosing to give thanks to God for this love and all the manifestations of that love in my life .

You see , because my Dad loved so freely, he also accepted and gave so freely this love.

My dad’s love and acceptance of my DH , despite our cultural differences, while some Naija parents would have given a side eye to an interracial marriage and therefore blocked blessings – he did not, and not only welcomed my DH with open arms but supported our union true and true.

This gift of love and acceptance has therefore abounded exponentially in my life in so many angles.

Wherever I look I can see the manifestation of love in my life .

I see it in you my DH, I see it in my children, I see in my mother and siblings, I see it in my wonderful Oma and Opa and extended family and in laws, I see it in my Dedes and my Dadas, I see it in my cousins and their children, i see it in my dog Teddy, I see it in my sweet friends , I see it in my HOLLA group, I see it in my WOW group , I see it in my work and the ability to provide mental health services to those in need, I see it in the opportunity to be living in a beautiful country with my roots extended from the great continent of Africa.

**Hanging out on thanksgiving day 2021**

I see it in you ,my readers and I am grateful.

So yes, it’s a bittersweet thanksgiving , however I can still see so clearly the many reasons to give thanks.

I hope that you can look around you and your own unique circumstances and see reasons to be THANKFUL♥️🙏🏾

As always, thank you for reading my blog and of course I welcome your comments and any shared experiences .

Click on the “follow” icon, so you can get notifications on future blog posts via email and not miss out !💕

*DH ( darling husband)

*Dedes( Uncles ) Dadas(Aunties)